Thursday, August 23, 2012

Oblivion!

so i had a somewhat unnerving sleep paralysis experience last night. sleep paralysis is this state between waking and sleeping consciousness..it can be brought on by fatigue and is sort of like your body falling asleep before your mind. however it can also be self-induced without fatigue through hypnosis/meditation. So your body is totally paralyzed and it can also be accompanied by visions. I used to get this a lot as a teenager and was terrified of it until i learned it was a 'thing'. later on i learned that it can be used as a state for remote viewing and as a gateway to astral projection and that what i thought were hallucinations were really me being able to perceive more of what was really there or other dimensions/planes.
sometimes now i try to use my sleep paralysis to explore these dimensions further. unfortunately paranoia and fear can be symptoms of the hypnagogic state in sleep paralysis and if you are afraid it is hard to result in projection.
last night i fell into sleep paralysis due to fatigue. finding myself in that state i tried to stay calm and go with the flow of it. usually when i get sleep paralysis im lying flat on my back and can see the room im sleeping in (through closed eyes) though sometimes with other dimensions superimposed. this time though i was sleeping on my stomach (its very rare to get sleep paralysis in this position) and i could not see anything but only felt as in a sort of darkness with possibly white swirling particles of motion around me. i heard a voice, very robotic and distorted, speaking to me. it was very difficult to hear what it was saying and it sounded a bit monstrous so i was getting a little scared. I finally made out what sounded like "get out of this city". I also felt the sensations of beginning an astral projection and was trying to go with that until a wave of paranoia came over me and i thought maybe this entity was saying "get out of this body". I wasn't sure and I thought in my paranoia that this entity may be trying to push me out of my body forcefully and take possession so I struggled free from the paralysis and came back into waking consciousness.
Lying awake now i had some things to think about. and the main thought that stuck out to me was, how do you know which other-dimensional entities to trust? Now i try not to subscribe to fear. I feel that all fear can be combated with love. but it's still something im striving toward and am far from achieving. So i started thinking about the fear in this situation. and about good and evil. what if this was an evil entity trying to possess me? where would i go? would i share existence with it, would i unknowingly take it into my own identity, would i be sent to wander some other plane, would i return to oblivion? asking myself these questions i realized how far i am from being free from fear and free from ego.
 first of all, i don't believe in good and evil. its more about opposition to each others will here (if thats what the entity was really trying to do). the fear of these outcomes is what stopped me from following through into a projection and learning more about other-dimensional space. if i am really dedicated to exploring these metaphysical/mystical/paranormal questions i have however, i have to not let this fear get in the way. That means no fear of oblivion. I think thats the one that scared me the most..was simply not existing anymore as a condensed form but being dispersed back into force. which means loss of me (really all the fears i had were about loss of me, my identity). so if i am going to continue these explorations deeply, i need to have no fear of oblivion. and that doesn't just mean i don't fear it because i believe the power of love will not let it happen. it means no fear because you accept that it might happen. you have to be willing to sacrifice yourself (meaning your transmutation from form to force).
(on the other hand what if it really was telling me to get out of the city?)
been trying a little practice to help with breaking down my ego and self-importance. when i am interacting with another person or thinking of another person i also tell myself i am that person. even just declaring that in your thoughts helps. sometimes i find it necessary to meditate on it a little longer if it feels like this person is pretty different from me or if i have some kind of conflict with them. but i always find the place where we both fit and both are one. this can be really helpful if you are feeling anger or jealousy toward someone. you can also do this with animals and inanimate objects. hopefully this slow dissipation of my self will help me to not fear oblivion.
what are your thoughts on all of this?

5 comments:

  1. http://youtube.com/watch?v=gHpnBK6nQ4g

    Trust - we either have it or we don't and I think your intuition is resisting these spirits. You were born as a human child and have been gradually opening yourself up to extra-dimensional beings, the ones that contact us are beneficial guides, but I believe that staying too open for access can be misleading. I think we can benefit from a wide array of perspective but we have to protect our souls from wayward drifting confusion... I know a partial Reiki technique is learning how to raise an energetic protective field, and perhaps practicing this in the physical manifestation of your essence can teach you how to navigate the multiverse more successfully.

    Oblivion means there is no you and no I , it is not scary to me because we don't exist in that realm. We fear what we do not know and nothing is something we spent an eternity on prior to arriving through the initial momentum push some people call the big bang. Continue to believe, and stand tall and firm for said beliefs. Protect your love so that you don't lose the ability to utilize it against fear and dance more. This is all advice for me too. Love and Light

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  2. hello, this is Anujs cat pizza time. last night i too heard an eerie and strange voice while i was sleeping but unfortunatly it just turned out to be anuj poorly singing bing crosby songs.

    when it comes to voices that come to me in my sleep or really esoteric dreams i usually tend to take the more literal route because i feel they are really more a projection of my sub conscious rather than a true outside force. this really helps create a gradient between definite good and evil there by making my willingness to give both a chance a meow of a lot easier. even if looked at as an outside entity i really feel that if something is making an effort to come and talk to you they are worth at least a small amount of attention, especially if they are from another realm. i have no idea how they even do that.


    whether or not you agree or disagree with what they have to say is not what matters, what does matter is giving the thoughts consideration. i think a lot ways you are already doing this with your efforts to understand different people around you. try applying that to these vocal premonitions as well.

    the majority humans are trapped on an endless cycle of subjective "good" and "evil" thoughts and i assume aliens/astral beings are the same. its all part of being rational. i think everyone would be a lot healthier and a lot happier if they took the time to understand the people around them and most importantly themselves.

    im going to try and get outside now. bye!

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  3. i once had a sleep paralysis moment with someone standing over me and trying to shake me awake. it was pretty intense. they thought i was zonked out on drugs or something. i could look at them and understand their words, but couldn't respond. another time i experienced sleep paralysis i started to experience some sort of floating, detached, first person vision of my bed room.

    i feel like it's worth noting that these two experiences were triggered by somebody attempting to wake me and by someone calling out to me as i slept. perhaps this is a potential route to sleep paralysis for people who don't typically experience it otherwise?

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  4. It takes time to overcome fear but the more you will practice this kind of state the more you will control your fears. Because i think at this level there's no evil entities wanting to possess you. It is more your fear of oblivion that stimulate your imagination.
    I feel the same when i work at opening myself because while i do it im thinking "i am defenseless" So, from this moment my innerstock of bad ideas about evil spirits comes as a protection system to make me fear something i can understand. So at the end its really the fear of letting go to the unknown.
    Some people say the fear of possession is only the fear of the divine integration.
    I think the only bad entities that can possess us are coming when we are involved in black magic in some ways. Or maybe if you jump too far into the "nagual" when you are using psychedelic drugs without a shaman next to you.
    Our main problem is that we identify with our ego and this ego is not really allowed in other dimensions. But WE ARE still without it! By ego i mean all our memories and beliefs about everything including our selves. At the core of it there's a capacity of organization and that may be the only part we need in the other dimensions.

    Surrender into control and Control into surrender. That's a paradoxical idea which only practice can help to understand. But that's the same with playing an instrument...as you know.

    Also there's a dynamic between good and bad, like a ping pong. When you go deep on one side it creates an opposite movement. So we should use this dynamic on our way of development. The big fears at discovering a new environment are like a test to pass through. Im kind of sure we have to experience our strongest fears to discover our deep love and faith!
    And to gain power over fear (which comes from the mental)we should developp our "silent consciousness" which takes place in the belly.

    see u (on the other side)

    jeff.france

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  5. Really beautiful responses everyone, thank you so much for taking the time to think about this. working towards total surrender and total love xoxo

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